Control Jealousy- How to Wipe Out Feelings of Jealousy
Jealousy is something we all feel at one time or another. Perhaps we analyze every person of the opposite sex that our significant other comes in contact with. Maybe we resent that teacher our child is always talking about. However it manifests, almost no one enjoys being jealous. So how do we stop being jealous? Can we actually control jealousy?
The truth is, yes, we can. It is not easy, but it is possible to stop being jealous and get on with your life. Jealousy in and of itself is not really wrong, as it shows how deeply we care about another person. It is how we react to our jealous feelings that causes the trouble. If allowed to get out of control, jealousy can be harmful to you physically and emotionally and isolate you from others. This is why it is necessary to learn how to control jealousy.
Try these steps to easy jealous feelings:
- Figure out why you are jealous. It is impossible to control jealousy if you do not know why it is there. Usually jealous feelings stem from insecurity. Feelings that you are not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, or just generally not good enough can lead you to feeling jealous of other’s accomplishments. Move past this by focusing on what is good about you and getting intentional about being happy for others.
- Get it out in the open. Chances are people already realize you are jealous. Talk to the involved party, whether it is your spouse or a friend. Approach the situation logically and calmly and they will almost certainly be sympathetic. You will feel better, and they may even stop the behavior that is causing you to be jealous if possible.
- Realize that jealousy is normal and that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. Again, the key is to realize it is an issue and deal with it. Keeping it to yourself because you are ashamed will only make matters worse.
- Distract yourself. If you are busy, you will not have time to dwell on whatever is making you jealous. Start a hobby you always wanted to try or start a new book. Just get busy so you are not focusing on the situation any more.
- Whenever jealous feelings creep, think positive thoughts. There really is a lot of power in positive thinking, so use it. When you start to feel jealous of what someone else has or has accomplished, remind yourself to feel happy for them.
Along with these tips, it can be helpful to work on your own self-esteem. This goes back the insecurity issue. Do something to make you feel better about yourself. Get a new haircut, buy a new shirt, or get a pedicure. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself will help you control jealousy as you will not feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else.
